我參加了兩次20/20 workshop.在這兩次活動中大陸來的教友都是大家熱切關注的服務對象.我非常驚訝更是非常感動.原來大門是敞開的.我們每週來SJCCC參與彌撒聖祭,憑的是對主的愛.我們不是客人,應該和我們的兄弟姊妹一起,相互服務.積極參與查經,侍奉, 盼望更多的來自大陸的教友參加20/20,傾聽大家的意見,也把自己心聲表達出來,為教會為福傳盡心盡力.
I participated in two 20/20 workshops.
In these two experiences, believers from Mainland
斟酌著如何下筆﹐一是筆鏽了良久﹐正如自己塵封的大腦﹐害怕言辭斟酌間﹐因人對字句註解不同而產生的誤會﹔一是心冷降溫﹐如同自己正值冬眠的信仰﹐惶恐這不是主的意願﹐而只是想逞口舌之快﹐所以﹐是該說「好話」﹐還是說「真話」﹖
研習中﹐牆上佈滿了密密麻麻的好話﹐字字句句都是我們祈望能在這團體中展現的特質。然而﹐人的軟弱及慾望﹐讓團體在長時間的運作後﹐開始產生誤會與隔閡﹐進而生氣加怨恨。在教會團體裡服務﹐當有錯誤產生﹐或是認為不合理的決策出現時﹐基於“愛”的表現﹐告訴我們不能直接說出口﹐因為說了就是包容不夠﹐說了就可能讓對方再也不願踏進有我存在的這個教堂裡﹗然而只有「好話」包裝﹐卻沒有「真話」反省﹐在我看來﹐這不只是動搖團體運作機能﹐更是在侵蝕信仰根基﹗“愛”應是展現在教會團體中﹐不同於其他社會團體的特質﹐然而基本運作功能不應以“愛”作借口﹐而使功能衰退﹐甚至停擺。一個尋求出路等待解決困境的團體當中﹐如果都沒有人認為自己該反省﹐我想﹐就只能等著灰飛煙滅吧﹗
熱烈討論聲中﹐我的軟弱﹐迫使我急於起身答辯一位從頭到尾強調「忍」字精神﹐卻又咄咄逼人的聲音﹐逞完口舌之快後﹐浮現腦海的是“因相愛別人認出我們是基督徒”。在轉念之間﹐突然﹐我的耳邊鴉雀無聲﹐只輕傳一微弱的聲音告訴我﹕『經由自身的口說出的正是我們所欠缺並想要做到的呀﹗』重新找尋屬於這個團體的召叫﹐應是20/20推動的基本理由吧﹗在祈禱裡交託自己給祂後﹐聽到心裡答應重點薪火的意願﹐也可能因為結合許多這樣的意願﹐團體能凝聚星星之火﹐而以主愛燎原大地﹗所以﹐只要你願意與祂合作﹐團體一定可以更緊密結合。主﹐感謝包容我的軟弱﹐但是﹐還是覺得既該說「好話」﹐更該說「真話」﹗
“Good Words” or “True Words?”
I
struggled in deciding how to start this article.
For one, I was afraid that with a rusty pen and dust-laden mind,
the words I chose might be misinterpreted and cause misunderstanding.
For another, I fear that my heart has turned lukewarm and my faith
has gone into hibernation, so I may not be speaking God’s will and
instead only offering some quick thoughts. Therefore, is what I am about
to say “good words” or “true words?”
During
the workshop, the wall was covered with numerous positive words.
The words and phrases were all qualities that we hoped to find in
our community. However, our
weaknesses and desires have, in time, caused misunderstandings and
divisions, which oftentimes lead to anger and hatred.
In serving a church community, when mistakes or questionable
activities occur, our desire to express love often prevents us from saying
our thoughts out loud because speaking out might mean we are not forgiving
enough – or, it might drive someone away from our community!
But that is only what’s on the outside and does not allow
reflection of the truth. In
my opinion, this not only challenges the community’s operating
abilities, but also corrodes our faith foundation!
“Love” should be at the center of a church community, a quality
that sets us apart from other groups in society.
However, we should not use “love” as an excuse to cause our
community to deteriorate, or even to die away.
In a community that is trying to get out of a difficult situation,
if its members do not realize the need for self-reflection, then I think
we are just waiting for the death of our community!
During
our heated discussion, my own weakness rushed me into defending myself
against a person who was emphasizing “tolerance” all through the
discussion. Immediately, the
phrase “they will know we are Christians by our love” came to my head.
In this moment of clarity, there was suddenly a silence around me,
and I could only hear: “What has been said is exactly what we lack and
want to do!” We need to
start searching God’s call for our community, as this is basically what
20/20 is for! As I offer
myself to God in a prayer, my heart responded with a willingness to
participate in a renewal, by joining many such desires as the little
sparks in our hearts, together, our community can help God’s love to
spread out like fire to the world! So,
as long as you are willing to cooperate, our community will surely become
united. I thank God for
showing mercy on my weaknesses, but I still think we must say both “good
words” and, even more so, “true words.”
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